Better is the End than the Beginning
It’s time like these that I’m reminded of my favorite book of the Bible, Ecclesiastes. It’s no secret for anyone who has been around the sun a few times that life is full of change. In fact, I’d say that one of the main themes of Ecclesiastes is that life is change. Every time I’m going through some huge change in my life, I like to turn to Ecclesiastes. It reminds me that everything in life changes and that nothing is permanent, that is except God and His Kingdom. Just look at Ecc 7:8. I didn’t always understand what this verse meant. Usually, I’m all about starting new things. I collect hobbies like others collect new socks. I love starting things, so when Ecc 7:8 says that the end of a thing is better than it’s beginning, well I just have a hard time agreeing.
If you’ve ever ended something then you probably know that ending something is a lot of things. Ending something is difficult, sad, and sometimes frustrating. It’s sometimes a cause for mourning or grieving. Anyone who has ended a relationship, suffered a divorce, pulled their kid out of sports, left a job, moved away from family, or any other sort of event knows that it’s rarely a time to celebrate.
The View from the Other Side
That’s why I always struggled with this verse. Now that I’m on the other side of my first full-time ministry I think I see this verse now for what it really means. The writer of Ecclesiastes isn’t saying that ending something isn’t a cause for mourning or grief. In fact, I think that an honest reading of Ecclesiastes as a whole tells us that life is very important and that we should enjoy life. That also means that when we deal with loss in life, that loss has real meaning, even though everything is like a vapor.
What I really think the preacher here is saying is that once we’re on the other side of a thing, we often see it clearer than when we first begin something. Everyone can relate to that. I know when I first started working at Harmony, I brought along all sorts of preconceived notions about what ministry would be like. Just a few years in I realized that many of them were wrong.
Now that I’m on the other side of all of that, I can see the ministry I worked in for what it really is. The end of a thing gives us a better perspective of what we were doing. We can take full account of how God moved through us, and we can see where we were being led. It also gives us an opportunity to learn from what we did and to see where we’re going. That’s what’s going on here in this post.
Memories Made
Looking back, I have so much to be thankful for. The Lord moved in amazing and powerful ways through my service at Harmony. Every child who learned to love the Lord and was baptized, every student who wrestled with their faith, every adult who was moved by a sermon, the times spent counseling, the connections made, friendships fostered, and family members found, they are all precious to me and my greatest treasures and blessings from God.
I don’t know if I could pick favorite memories. There are a few that certainly stand out. I remember the week I started I had to catch a snake that had made its way into the worship center. I also remember spending so many holidays with very generous church members. Giving out free hot dogs to the neighborhood behind the church and how blown away people were by this simple act of generosity given on behalf of God certainly sticks out. The glow in the dark egg hunt with over 2,000 visitors was certainly something you had to experience to believe. There’s just too many memories to put down in one place here.
Lessons Learned
I also learned some very difficult lessons along the way. When I first got into ministry, I foolishly thought that I would be doing most of my work in my office with the door closed. I figured that most of my work was in planning and implementing lessons for kids. Turns out some of the most important work that I did for the Lord was outside the walls of the church. So much of ministry is visiting people in the hospital, celebrating the birth of their children, sitting with them during their darkest moments, and partying with them in their greatest. Ministry is about people, not just process.
That was a difficult lesson that I learned, but I’m so glad I did. I’d say that the greatest lesson I learned at Harmony was what ministry really is. It’s about the people and creating community, and I came to find that is the part I love the most. I also learned just how important prayer is for everything in life. The temptation is to believe that prayer was important, but it was more important to actually do something. I thought I was just being pragmatic.
Turns out when I leave prayer second I suffer along with the ministry. Turns out John 15:5 is true. If we don’t stay connected to Jesus, then we can’t do anything. Prayer became my first resort instead of my backup. I placed the responsibility for my ministry not on my own back, but squarely on the shoulders of Jesus. Turns out He’s much better at this than me. I just need to follow His lead.
Why Leave?
That takes us to exactly why I’m leaving. It’s easy to look back at all of this and wonder why I would leave. It’s something that I constantly asked myself during this entire process. Really, it all comes down to one fact: I work for God and no one else. On my last Sunday, I said something that may have surprised some people. Choking back my tears, I was able to mumble out that those eight years were not for anyone at the church. I didn’t do it for anyone there. Instead, I did it all as a sacrifice of love for a God who through His love sacrificed everything for me.
Laboring For God
Ministry was and continues to be a labor of love for God. It’s the only way anyone can survive all the pain and heartache that ministry brings. Because I serve God and not a person or a church, that means I move when He tells me to. When I came to Harmony, I did so following a prompting from God. At the same time, He told me that I wouldn’t be here for ever. There would be a time when He would call me away to go somewhere else. It was earlier this year that He revealed to me that time had come. It was time for me to move on.
When God tells you what the next step is, you have two choices; you can either decide to obey Him in faith or disobey Him out of selfishness. If I really am offering myself as a living sacrifice, then only one option remains. It was simply time to leave. If it was up to me, I would have stayed, but God wouldn’t have been in it anymore. We all know how that turns out. In my leaving I know that the Lord has so much more for me and so much more for Harmony.
For Harmony
My hope for Harmony is that the Lord continues to bless and grow you. I’ve seen the Lord move in tremendous ways, in ways that don’t make sense, in ways that were unexpected, and in ways that made me marvel at His glory. I pray that the spirit continues to move and stir within you. Your people would live lives that shine before the city of Georgetown, Scott County, the commonwealth of Kentucky, and the whole world.
I pray that He calls you to do frightening and terrifying things. He calls you to do things that seem crazy and don’t make sense,
but I also pray that you do them anyways. I know that when we boldly follow God, He is always faithful to back us up. Doing the easy thing is never worth it, but doing the hard stuff is always worth the effort it takes. My hope is for you to grow deeper in your faith and understanding of God. I know that He will continue to bless you as you continue to follow Him.
For Myself
My hope for myself is that I continue to boldly follow God where He is leading me. I don’t ever want to settle for what I have now. God, draw me out into the deeper waters of who you are and equip me to do my best to boldly take hold of everything you have for me. I pray that He continues to use me to do His great work. Help me to embody the words of a great but unknown monk when he was asked about what he wanted to do with his life, “preach the gospel, die, and be forgotten.”
I don’t want to do any of this for my own glory or praise. I don’t want to move forward unless it’s what God wants. My hope is that God continues to find me suitable for His work and that He continues to use me. My hope is that I always remember that I am already enough, already loved, and already chosen by my Creator. I pray that I live the sort of life that reflects His glory and that one day I may hear the words “well done, good and faithful servant.”
Hard Goodbyes
It’s been a long journey to this point and there’s so much more to come. There’s so much more that could be said about my time at Harmony. There are not enough words to express how I feel and what Harmony has meant to me. I am woefully under-equipped to talk about each and every person I encountered and what they meant to me. It’s overwhelming each time I think about it. I have a pile of cards that expresses what it has meant to everyone else. Eight years ago, I simply wouldn’t have believed what it was going to mean to me and what I would learn here. I almost don’t believe it now. The only thing left to say is…
It’s been real, Harmony.
You will be missed friend👍🏼